


in a snap of your fingers

by silencedmockingjay



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Rewrite, Light Angst, M/M, i apologise for typos, i worked hard on this, if you are homophobic why are you even reading this, kinda sad, rewrite of episode 11/12, scrap that it's very sad, the idea came up at 2am in the morning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-20 13:57:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10664049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silencedmockingjay/pseuds/silencedmockingjay
Summary: “I’m mad, okay?!” A flash of anger lights up Viktor’s face, eyes narrowed, eyebrows in a v-shape, mouth turned downwards.And then his hand comes up and slaps Yuuri’s hand away.(aka the one fic which is a rewrite of episode 11/12)





	in a snap of your fingers

**Author's Note:**

> Kitsune = Japanese fox spirit that can live for a long time. Also known as a nine-tailed fox. 
> 
> I apologise in advance for any tears shedded, as well as awful typos.

“Apparently, Minako-sensei’s drinking with Celestino at a bar,” Yuuri scrolls through his Instagram, only pausing to look up when Viktor settles onto his usual perch on the window ledge, in a hotel robe and wiping off the droplets of water on his hair.

 

“Wow, best to keep our distance,” Viktor remarks, smiling, as he dries his hair as best as he can. Even then, though, Yuuri can see a droplet of water balanced on one of his silvery locks, and he has to resist the urge to catch it on his finger.

 

“By the way, Yuuri… What did you want to talk to me about?”  Viktor smiles innocently, his face bathed in the yellow light of the hotel’s bedside lamps. Looking at him now, Yuuri realises that Viktor now looks so much _softer,_ so much warmer, so much more tangible and touchable and _real_ and _human,_ as compared to all of the livestreams he’s watched, in which Viktor seems so tall, so far away, so _cold,_ like he was born to become one with the ice, like he was the ice god incarnate.

 

But, somehow in the months since Viktor first showed up at Hasetsu, Yuuri’s realised that Viktor’s coldness is for the media, protection from the inquisitive gazes and the prodding questions and the brightness of flashing lightbulbs. And somehow… he’s managed to crack the mask, reveal the _true_ Viktor like the media had never been able to do, _know_ him inside and out like he was the back of his hand; trace his hands over the scars of his past, now sealed up and smoothed over like the surface of an ice rink in the early mornings when no one had been on it yet, but the scars always remaining below the surface.

 

He still doesn’t know how he’s managed to do it.

 

Viktor had whispered to him once, _you brought me back to life._ Then, Yuuri had been half asleep; he hadn’t paid much attention to Viktor’s words, completely forgetting about them the next morning, only remembering when he was about to doze off to sleep the next night.

 

“Yeah,” Yuuri breathes out, putting his hands on his laps, his phone still clenched in one of them. He takes a deep breath in, and instinctively feels his hands tighten into fists.

 

“After the Final… let’s end this.”

 

*****

 

_Yuuri’s mother used to tell him an ancient Japanese tale before he went to bed._

 

_It became his favourite story._

 

_“Mama, mama!” Yuuri cries out from where he is on his bed, holding his pillow in his hands, his face positively glowing in excitement. “Can you tell me the story again? Of the kit-suh-neh and the snow spirit?”_

 

_“Why, of course, dear!” Hiroko smiles as well, looking down at her darling baby boy. “Lie down on your bed first, I’ll tell you the story.”_

 

_Little Yuuri settles down on his bed, quivering with excitement._

 

_Deep breath, and the story begins._

 

_“Once upon a time, there was an ice spirit who lived in a castle made entirely of his own element, ice. He was the most powerful elemental spirit of all, being able to wield both ice and water, the elements shaping themselves to his command. But he was one of the spirits with the most fragile heart. Because of that, he never let anyone near him. Whenever other spirits, gods, mortals even, showed up at his palace seeking to charm him, he merely let them stay at his palace for three days. Once three days were over, the guest had to give the spirit a gift. If the spirit didn’t like the gift, he would send the guest away, never to return. And they never did. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn’t find the palace again. And the spirit was never satisfied with any gift.”_

_“It was because of this that more and more people started to hear of this unattainable powerful ice spirit, and more and more people started to come to the doors of his ice palace, seeking to enchant the ice spirit. But as the years passed and passed, the number of people rejected by him only grew and grew.”_

 

_“Until one day, a fiery kitsune happened to hear of this legend…”_

 

***

 

Whenever he’s nervous, Yuuri likes to snap his fingers.

 

He doesn’t know why he does it, he just finds it oddly calming, snapping his fingers over and over again, feeling his fingers thud into his palm and produce the odd clicking sound that is now soothing to him, something constant in an ever-changing environment.

 

Snap.

 

Snap.

 

Snap.

 

For some reason, he reflects on this now, as he watches Viktor’s eyes widen as the full force of what he just said hits him.

 

He can’t bear to see Viktor like this.

 

But he knows it’s for the best.

 

Because he’s already stolen Viktor away from the world for one year, and he can’t let Viktor’s  return to the ice suffer because of him.

 

This… is all for him.

 

“Eh?” Viktor’s lips part in a soft breath of surprise. Another water droplet rolls off his hair and makes a soft _plip_ as it lands on the carpet.

 

The silence. It’s too much. Too oppressing, the tension’s building up, he can already feel the storm of emotions coming when he’s about to have a panic attack, _don’t just stay quiet you idiot talk, break the silence and talk so that Viktor doesn’t misunderstand you-_

 

“You… you’ve done more than enough for me, Viktor,” Yuuri hesitates before continuing, raising his head slightly so he can look Viktor _(Viktor, his idol, his coach, the love of his life-)_ in the eyes. “Thanks to you, I was able to give everything I had to my last season.”

 

_No, he can’t do this anymore, he can see all the hurt, all the betrayal, maybe even a speck of hate, all in Viktor’s eyes, and to know he’s the cause of it - oh no, no, no, he can’t look him in the eyes anymore why does this hurt so much it shouldn’t be hurting so much-_

 

Yuuri forces his gaze to tear away from Viktor, and he turns it to the floor, bowing to Viktor, gaze resolutely on the red carpet, damp with the water dripping off Viktor. He can already feel the words coming out of his mouth, and although he’d practiced for hours before in the bathroom with the mirror, it’s nothing compared to the real thing, to having to face Viktor instead of himself with red eyes and a sad smile in a mirror, with tear-stained eyes and his tiredness showing in his dulled pupils.

 

“Thank you for everything, Viktor,” he says, closing his eyes, and he can hear the words from his mouth, and they sound too formal, almost as if he was speaking to someone he barely knew. Too stiff. Too rigid. “Thank you for being my coach.”  

 

He opens them, now, partially relieved that it’s over, hears the silence but doesn’t dare to look back up, allows himself to hope that maybe Viktor will accept his decision to retire without a protest, because he was the one who said it was only til the Finals, and Yuuri’s just reminding Viktor that their contract lasts only til the end of this, that after that-

 

_Plip._

 

Yuuri stares first at Viktor’s bare foot where the water droplet had landed, and then looks up again, gasping a little, brain unable to process what is happening, and he _looks_ at Viktor and he can see that he’s crying.

_He’s crying._

Viktor Nikiforov, five-time World Champion of figure skating, the Living Legend of Russia, the ice god incarnate, is crying without making a sound, his tears falling from his cheeks and landing on his foot, is crying for reasons Yuuri doesn’t understand, is _crying because of him._

“Viktor?” Yuuri feels his eyebrows rise in shock.

“Damn…” Viktor blinks, and more tears collapse down his cheek. “I didn’t expect Katsuki Yuuri to be such a selfish human being.”

“Yes,” Yuuri whispers. He can see it now, see his voice like wind blowing through the dew-laden willows along the sound of water drops rolling off the leaves like pearls, see the effect he has on Viktor, except that it is not willows his voice is blowing through, it is Viktor’s being, and the water drops are not ordinary water drops; they are Viktor’s tears. “I made this selfish decision on my own.”

He takes a deep breath, then continues, “I’m retiring.”

Viktor inhales sharply, then - something inside him seems to collapse, and he sags down again, the tears falling faster and harder. He makes no move to wipe them away.

There’s an itch on his hand, and almost without thinking, Yuuri’s right hand moves to lift up Viktor’s silver fringe, the one that covers his left eye, and peer concernedly at the tears spilling down onto Viktor’s cheeks.

“What are you doing, Yuuri?” Viktor’s eyes harden, and he stiffens a bit, recoils, _recoils,_ from Yuuri’s touch, which stabs at his heart a little. Never, ever, since they have met, has Viktor ever shied away from his touch like that, jumped away like it was an arrow about to pierce him and shatter him to pieces.

“Oh… I’m just… surprised to see you cry,” Yuuri mumbles, transfixed by the way Viktor’s tears gather, then overflow at the edges, dripping down his cheeks before falling from his chin to the damp spot on the carpet and his feet.

“I’m mad, okay?!” A flash of anger lights up Viktor’s face, eyes narrowed, eyebrows in a v-shape, mouth turned downwards.

And then his hand comes up and slaps Yuuri’s hand away.

Yuuri recoils as well like Viktor did just now, shuddering away from Viktor’s touch, wrist stinging more from the fact that _Viktor_ had _slapped his hand away_ than the impact itself. “You were the one who said it was only until the Grand Prix Final!” he accuses.

Then the full tone of his voice hits Yuuri right in the face, and he wants to take it back so much, can’t believe that he _snapped at Viktor,_ wants to take all the accusation out of his tone and say it gentler just to remind Viktor; but it’s too late; he can see the flash of hurt that darts across Viktor’s face, and then just as suddenly as it appeared is now gone, encased inside Viktor’s mask again. The mask that he reserves for the public, for people who don’t _know_ him. The mask that he has never, ever, used in front of Yuuri. Never.

But…

_This is for Viktor’s good, this is for his good, this is for his good this is for his good this is for him for him for him FOR HIM-_

“I thought you needed my help more,” Viktor’s voice is quiet.

“Aren’t you going to make a comeback? You don’t need to worry about me-”

“How can you tell me to return to the ice while saying you’re retiring?!”

***

_“This kitsune was normally shy, but as it just so happened, he was drunk when he heard the story from his loyal best friend, a dryad who lived in the oak forest next to the ice spirit’s palace. Instantly, this kitsune demanded his dryad friend to bring him to the ice spirit’s palace, which the dryad did. Then, the kitsune, who was still drunk, knocked on the door of the ice spirit. When the ice spirit opened his door, little did he expect a drunk handsome kitsune to jump into his arms, begging him for a dance!”_

_“The fox spirit immediately grabbed the ice spirit’s arm, and led him into the middle of his cold castle. Then, he immediately spun the ice spirit into a lively warm waltz! As they twirled and spun together gracefully in the middle of the ice castle to invisible, warm, soft music, the ice spirit realised, that he was finally enjoying himself, that he was finally letting himself go, that his fragile heart was healing itself again. And for the first time, he dared to love.”_

***

Yuuri didn’t know what to say.

He’s never felt so much at a loss in his life.

He didn’t know what to do.

He’s holding back Viktor from the spotlight. He knows that. He also knows that for Viktor’s own sake, he is going to have to let go of him.

So why does letting go of him feel so hard…?

***

It’s his turn on the ice.

“Introducing Katsuki Yuuri of Japan…”

He can feel his own heartbeat thundering in his ears, shaking his world, and everything around him still feels muted, like the soft pastel colours of the sunset when it’s just beginning.

_“Yuuri.”_

One word pierces through his anxiety-induced haze, and he looks up into the cerulean blue eyes of Viktor.

“Yuuri, I debated whether to tell you this or not, but…I took a break after becoming the five-time world champion to coach you, so how come it’s possible you haven’t yet won any gold medals?” And Viktor’s now smiling at him softly, gently, like he’s the only thing in the world.

And Yuuri realises, he doesn’t want him to look away.

Never.

“ _E….eh?”_ He can feel his eyes widening, looking up into Viktor’s eyes, into the eyes of the man he loves, and deep inside, somewhere in there… he can see hope, patience… and something else.

“How much longer are you going to stay in warm-up mode? I really want to kiss the gold medal, you know…”

_Love._

His free skate program’s theme is love.

Viktor loves him.

 

He loves Viktor.

And for his very last performance… he’s going to bare his soul on the ice.

He’s going to show the world his love.

***

_My name is Katsuki Yuuri. I’m a dime a dozen skater. I’m 24 years old._

Those words repeat themselves over and over in his head as he slowly glides his way to the centre of the ice, his costume snug against his body, singing its grace and beauty. It feels calming, in a way. Like he’s returning to his roots.

He waits for the cue, and when he sees it, he smiles.

Music. The music he composed for his FS starts to flow through the stadium, enthralling the audience. As he raises his arms to his chin and gradually spreads them out like a new flower unfurling from the bud, he can’t help but think that this seems so fitting for his career.

It makes sense.

He’s the lone piano at the start, with no one to support him, a bird with a broken wing, ready to give up. Then he starts to build momentum, just as the piano reaches a high note -

_Blink._ Perfect combination jump of a quad toe and a double toe. He lands it solidly, and he continues into his program, skating with all the grace of a swan, a swan that will do anything for love. And this is the part where Viktor barges into his life, very very naked and dripping wet in his family’s onsen-

He remembers how skating the Stammi Vicino routine went like, and with a tug, he pulls that emotion of longing, of desire, for love, inside his performance. It flows so much smoother now, he can lose himself in the skating.

_Viktor… I’ve always longed for you. For more than half of my life, I’ve been trying to catch up to you. I’ve always wanted you in my life, even though I didn’t know it at the time. Even though I rejected you when you first came to Hasetsu._

_But Viktor… thank you for bringing me all the way here._

_Arigato, Viktor…_

_I love you._

The notes of the melody start to gradually rise in pitch, the violin sounding a perfect accompaniment to the piano, _this is meant to represent my rise to the top._

Build up speed, slowly, slowly…

_And… it’s not just Viktor I have to thank._

Then he launches himself into the air-

Spins-

Lands-

“A perfect quadruple salchow.”

_Yurio, thank you too._

_Minako._

_Celestino._

_Phichit._

_Mari, okaa-san, and otou-san._

_So many others I have yet to thank._

_What better way than with a gold medal?_

The music starts to rise to its peak, and Yuuri rises along with it, muscles burning as he skates backwards, gaining speed, to enter his jump. And he leaps in one smooth move.

“Triple flip!”

And now Yuuri can see Viktor’s expression as he stands at the edge of the rink, with that expression on his face that Yuuri can now read so well - clear as day, it says, _Yuuri, you can’t be serious._

_I’m sorry Viktor, but my performance needs to be better than flawless for a chance at gold,_ Yuuri thinks, as he glides across the ice like a caged bird free from its restraints, as the music comes to its peak and plateaus like the flat surface of a glacier. His arm movements feel light and flowy, and he can feel his ballet training kick in as he comes to a pause on the ice, before pushing off and gracefully executes an Ina Bauer.

_I’ve always wanted the final free skate of my career to have the same difficulty as Viktor’s._

Skate to the side of the rink, then turn backwards, gain speed, push off…

“Triple axel.”

_Skate like you are the most beautiful thing that will ever be on the ice._

_Skate like you are the woman in the story dazzling everyone with the depth of her love._

_Skate so Viktor can’t take his eyes off you._

_Skate so he’ll stay close to you._

“A triple flip is planned next,” Yuuri can hear Morooka’s voice echoing on the speakers, and he can feel the corner of his lips tug upwards into a smile, feel himself think, _This will surprise them._

“A quadruple toe loop?!”

Yuuri can hear the screams of the crowd, adoring, admiring, idolising, as he gasps for breath after the insanely high jump _(he was pretty sure it was the highest he’d jumped in his lifetime, it certainly seemed like it, he’d have to check with Viktor after the free skate - if he chose to stay.)_

_If he chooses to stay._

That thought causes him to shudder a bit, shock flowing through him, but somehow, somehow, he manages to continue with the little step sequence there and enter backwards, into his combination jump.

_Do you see it now, Viktor? Watch me land this combination, because I know I can do it with you by my side. Because you had faith in me. And I am so, so grateful for that, thank you, Viktor…_

“Triple axel, single loop, triple salchow.”

_I don’t want this to end here, Viktor. I want to stay with you in figure skating forever._

“Triple lutz, triple toe loop.”

_But your staying on as a coach… As my coach, means slowly killing you as a competitive skater. And I can’t do that. I can’t, no matter how much I want you._

_Look at the Viktor that lives on inside me._

_Your becoming my coach wasn’t a waste of time._

_I’m the only one in the whole world who can prove that._

Rotate body. Spin a little. Assume same position as Viktor in his demos…

Yuuri took off.

_Stay close to me and never leave._

_“He did it!”_

***

Yuuri is surprisingly unsurprised by his instinctive reaction to tackle Viktor.

He already knows what his own decision will be, had known it since he stepped foot onto the ice and all his memories of Viktor on the ice, unattainable and untouchable; Viktor coaching him through, step by step, patient and guiding; Viktor skating along with him, mirroring his movements with a smile on his face, came back to him, flooding him like a rush of face-cold water.

_“I want you to stay with me in competitive figure skating for one more year! This time, I’ll win gold for sure!’_

And Viktor had said yes.

And in that moment, Yuuri didn’t care.

He didn’t care that the world was going to be jealous of him for being coached by Viktor for 2 seasons.

He didn’t care that the gossip tabloids would hiss pieces of false news behind their shielded mouths, eyes filled with interest and nosiness and perky happiness.

He didn’t care that his feet were going to be bruised and injured and broken for one more year.

Because he had Viktor.

And being with Viktor was enough.

And sure, all their problems wouldn’t be solved with a snap of Yuuri’s fingers; there was still the matter of moving to Russia, staying there, checking things over with Yakov, and choreographing new programs. And of course, there was the matter of the marriage - put off for one more year because he had failed to win a gold medal this year.

But he didn’t care.

As long as he had Viktor, he could love, and he could _win._

***

_“The next two days, the ice spirit let the kitsune stay in his palace, tending to him and nursing him back to health while his hangover disappeared.”_

_“However, too soon, it was time for the gift to be presented to the ice spirit. Blushing furiously, the kitsune confessed to the ice spirit that he had no gift for him, and thus had to leave. Just as the kitsune was about to disappear, the ice spirit grabbed his arm and requested for one last dance!”_

_“The kitsune was surprised but obliged, and this time, they danced to a romantic, albeit a little lonely, song. It was beautiful and the kitsune hardly noticed when his fire magic started to entwine with the spirit’s ice magic, starting to form a soulbond.”_

_“By the time they had noticed, they were already bonded, golden strings on their fingers connecting them to each other! The kitsune was alarmed and began to apologise profusely, thinking that it was an accident, but the ice spirit gently held him in his arms. Once the kitsune had calmed down, the ice spirit explained that he had accepted their final dance as a gift, and should the kitsune choose to, he could stay here forever with the ice spirit.”_

_“Of course, the kitsune agreed happily, having already fallen in love with the ice spirit, and the two of them lived in the castle happily ever after, their fragile hearts healed by each other’s mere presence. No one was ever able to find the castle again.”_

_“Some tales say that if you wander close enough to where the ice spirit’s castle is, you can hear the kitsune snapping his fingers to the beat of the otherworldly tune that he and ice spirit are now dancing to, happy and in each other’s arms…”_

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you liked it! This was my first fic so I really worked hard on it :D 
> 
> After this I will be working on a hospital/ghost Viktuuri AU so stay tuned for that too!
> 
> Come scream with me about YOI on Tumblr here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/overcome-chihoko


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